该用户匿名发帖 发表于 2011-7-10 20:27   全显示 1楼
这个小说总的来讲写的蛮清新的。我斗胆提个小建议，作者是既然开篇用了第一人称叙述，后文似不太适合再用婉清视角的第三人称叙述。这样故事的带入性不如刚开头第一人称叙述的部分。不过如果作者在后文中安排的好，也有可能取得以外的效果。以上。
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  • BUXING 金币 +5 鼓励 2011-7-10 22:13
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